AARON BILGRAD MOVIE AWARDS 2020

BEST MOVIE IN WHICH APPARENTLY, JUST BY WATCHING IT, YOU EARN A MASTERS DEGREE IN SOCIOLOGY FROM YALE:  US

According to the critics, when writer/director Jordan Peele now makes a movie, it is not enough to simply go see it, or even like it — the movie also deserves an interpretive course at an Ivy League institution, as well as its own exhibit at the Smithsonian Museum of American History.

You are not simply going to see a cheap-thrill horror movie, you are experiencing a nuanced allegory on identity.  While Peele’s movie Get Out provided a clever commentary and some imaginative elements, it’s only logical that every movie he makes henceforth should, at minimum, take home the Nobel Peace Prize.

One must never criticize this movie for being dull or poorly conceived; it shall only be celebrated as a dynamic masterpiece in all respects.  If you felt it had many moments that made no sense, the problem is squarely with you and your inability to appreciate the nuance.   The fact that this movie received no Oscar nominations… just a vile bias on part of the Academy, for time will quickly forget all of this year’s nominees and only remember this flawless work of art and parable on humanity.   Why on earth would the Oscars not reward Lupita Nyong’o for both speaking with a raspy voice AND frequently running from the living room to the bedroom and quickly slamming the door behind her?

Congratulations to all those who saw this movie and received your Masters.

BEST MOVIE ABOUT HOW BATMAN CAN EASILY STOP THE JOKER: JOKER

In all Batman content, the consistent character trait surrounding the ‘Joker’ is that he is utterly insane.   He organizes crime rings because of his insanity, he kills because of his insanity, etc.  This year’s Joker aimed to shed some light on why he might have become the ‘Joker’.   Essentially, he, like so many others, gets bullied a lot (by teenagers on the street, by co-workers, by rich white guys, and by his mother who told him a vicious lie regarding his father that helped fill the movie’s runtime).  However, many people are bullied by co-workers and simply go home and stew about it.

While Arthur Fleck (aka The Joker) is painted as disturbed, the only people he exacts vengeance on are those that treated him poorly or failed to try and understand him.  In fact, in one scene, he finds mercy for someone who treated him nicely, and even speaks out loud that this is why he will spare his life.  Sounds like we have a weakness here, Batman?

So, Batman, to follow the character logic of this movie, instead of kicking the Joker’s ass and calling him scum and all that (which frustrates him and  leads to the death of many), maybe just take the Joker out for coffee, laugh at his jokes, and show him some encouragement.  I think Joaquin Phoenix’s character would be open to this and call off some of those insane clown armies.

Not to deconstruct this too much, but wasn’t The Penguin’s backstory the same — people picked on him due to his deformity, so he decided to come up with ways to gas and poison the city.   Same for The Riddler, a big dork who gives clues on how to stop his own crimes.   It seems, in this superhero universe, that Batman is just the High School quarterback beating up on the nerds of the school.  And we as a society root for Batman?  That’s weird.

BEST MOVIE THAT HAD ONE LONG TRACKING SHOT AND ALSO OVER $100,000,000 TO DO AS MANY TAKES AS NEEDED TO GET IT RIGHT:  1917

Every few years, the Oscars heaps praise upon a movie that utilizes the famous, long, single, one-take tracking shot.  The overall impressive nature of a long tracking shot is based on the idea that everything theoretically must happen perfectly in front of the camera for 5, or 10, or even 20 straight minutes.  Fortunately, if you have over $100,000,000, if something goes wrong, no problem, just do it again.

(The stupid movie) Birdman from 2015 deployed this concept and received myriad accolades.   While it can be fascinating to watch one long single take in which a multitude of talented actors hit their lines, beats, and marks perfectly (like the bar scene in Goodfellas), a long single shot is not necessarily impressive just because it happened.

As a film editor myself, and I’m certain that many other editors would agree, if there is one absolute truism about editing, it is this:  editing is very hard.  There are hours and hours of footage to sift through in hopes of finding the perfect permutation for a scene of dialogue at a dinner table.  The editor must toil for extensively long workdays and late nights away from their kids in order to visually and audibly compose an emotionally affecting scene; a scene that is so beautifully sewn together, that the audience forgets that they are simply watching a random sequence of images and cutaways.  And even if the editor feels they cut it perfectly, the producer/director most likely has their own vision for how the scene should be cut, and orders the editor to, essentially, start again from scratch.  This likely means that the editor will miss their spouse’s birthday, their child’s school play, or any of the wonderful moments of life that make it worth living.

Now, imagine you are the editor for a World War I battlefield movie.  You must discuss beforehand with your family that the next 8-12 months shall be very challenging.   You won’t be around.  You ask a neighbor if they can supplement love, support, and a sense of self-esteem to your kid because you will be overwhelmingly occupied editing the battlefield scenes in a World War I movie.

Luckily, there is one way as an editor to not miss out on bonding with your kids.  Suggest to the director that he film the movie in just a handful of long tracking shots.  Tell the director that it will not only impress people and garner a bevy of Oscar attention, but, more notably, these “one-shots” will also make the audience ‘feel’ as if they are in the trenches of World War I (Important Note:  The director must think they are brilliant by attempting this first-person feel.  Thus, do NOT tell the director that everyone is already having this immersive wartime experience in the Call of Duty video game series)

BEST MOVIE THAT I’M RATHER SURE IS ABOUT GOOD VERSUS EVIL:  STAR WARS EPISODE IX:  THE RISE OF SKYWALKER

I am not into Star Wars.  The first set of movies from the late 70s/early 80s are well done, but that’s where I stop.   I used to get quite fatigued during all Star Wars films because I couldn’t quite follow the specifics of the plot (e.g. which planet they need to get to and why, which alien faction wants what, who double-crossed who, etc.).  However, after seeing this last Star Wars movie, I understand that one need not understand any of the plot specifics at all.  I was paying attention too closely this whole time.   For Star Wars, you just have to be able to follow the subtext and thematic core of each scene.  Just watch how the characters are feeling.  Do this, and you are good to go and can follow everything perfectly.  It’s so simple.  Everything else is unnecessary detail.  Thus, I present to you what I now hear when watching Star Wars:

Rey and the Evil Emperor Palpatine face each other in the big, final showdown.

REY:  The force is with me.  I want to be good person that is nice to people.

EVIL EMPEROR PALPATINE:  NO!  You are my granddaughter and you are evil like me.  Being mean to people is in your blood.

REY:  No, I’m not!  I’m a good person.

EVIL EMPEROR PALPATINE:  Hahaha, you think you are, but you have hate inside you, so you are bad just like me.  Tough break.

REY:  Oh my goodness, you might have a point.   I actually hate YOU because you kill people.

EVIL EMPEROR PALPATINE:  Hahaha, exactly.  You love to hate.  So kill me, and I will pass along the powers of the dark side to you so you can hate everybody like me.

REY:  NO!  I won’t do it.  I’m a good person.  Take this (Rey swipes her light saber at Evil Emperor)

EVIL EMPEROR PALPATINE:  Stop it, that’s annoying! (Evil Emperor fires an invisible force that knocks Rey down).  Hahaha!!!!  Now… get up and be the bad person that you are deep down inside.  Being a good person is not the right choice for you.

A weakened Rey is slow to her feet, but then –

REY:  NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I’M A GOOD PERSON AND I WANT TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!

EVIL EMPEROR PALPATINE:  AHHHHHHHH!!!  YOU’RE SO GOOD AND NICE AND SPECIAL THAT IT’S KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

REY:  BY KILLING YOU, I’M HONORING LUKE SKYWALKER AND THE GENERATION OF FANS THAT LOVE THESE MOVIES FOR SOME REASON!!!!!!

Meanwhile, the hero good guy pilot is fighting the bad guys.

GOOD GUY PILOT:  We’re outnumbered.  We’re gonna lose.

GOOD LADY PILOT:  Good Guy, look!  It’s the nice people, and they came with an army of very considerate and likable aliens.

GOOD GUY PILOT:  Fantastic!  Ok, everybody listen up, we need to destroy the [THAT] and the [THIS], but it’s impossible.

NEW PILOT WHO SHOWED UP:  Nothing’s impossible if you believe in yourself like we do.

GOOD LADY PILOT:  Good point, new pilot.  Let’s team up and beat the bad guys and then be happy together!

BAD GUY COMMANDER:  Uh-oh, that is far more good guys than we expected to fight.  I guess good outnumbers evil in this world.  

AND HERE ARE THE BEST MOVIES I SAW THIS YEAR IN DESCENDING ORDER:

A NOTE AND WARNING:  Many argue, convincingly, that television shows are surpassing movies in terms of society’s preferred visual medium. Thus, most watch far more TV series on various platforms as opposed to watching a 2-hour movie in the theater (or even at home).   However, I think a larger threat to cinema, at least in my case, is the less assuming time-sucker of YouTube.  Watching a multiple-season TV series is an enormous time commitment, but watching short and stupid, although algorithmically curated and highly captivating YouTube videos, takes up far more of my time and attention.  It’s dangerous and highly addicting.

As an example, here are just the last (10) YouTube Video Titles I watched (instead of watching another good movie this year):
How I Made $1,000,000 Starting A Custom Sock Store Online
8 Reasons Why Mortal Kombat Annihilation Was Such A Bad Movie
How To Floss Your Sciatic Nerve
Emilio Estevez On Why He Didn’t Take The Sheen Last Name
Rescue Of A Scared Homeless Dog With A Broken Heart
Billie Eilish Reveals Why She Wears Baggy Clothes
What To Actually Do If You Are Buried Alive
Steph Curry On The Sacrifices He Made For Kevin Durant
A Song Mash-Up Of Rage Against The Machine and Vanessa Carlton
Why They Fired The First Aunt Viv on The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air

And here are the best movies I saw this year:

10) FYRE:  THE BEST PARTY THAT NEVER HAPPENED
A documentary profiling the hyped and disastrous Fyre Festival from a few years ago, which was marketed as the party of a lifetime.   Although the movie centers on the logistics of how the festival came together and fell apart, the best aspect about the film is the ego and arrogance of the festival creator, Billy McFarland.  It shows how very stupid people can use charisma to generate and lose a lot of money.  Unfortunately, along the way, they fool many people into thinking they are smart and well-intentioned.  Happens all the time.

9) MIDSOMMAR
Writer/director Ari Aster’s follow-up to my #1 movie of last year, Hereditary.  He has a keen sense of how to create a mood and vibe, and casts actors (Florence Pugh in this case) who can grippingly guide you along a very unsettling journey to a remote cult village in Sweeden.

8) THE IRISHMAN
Even though Netflix released this movie to stream in our homes, my friends and I decided we needed to see this at a special theatrical screening in order to properly celebrate and enjoy a new Scorsese movie.  The place was packed, and it was a good night for film fans.  Although we didn’t have the luxury of saying “I’ll finish this tomorrow” like the rest of you.  Fantastic acting, interesting mafia guys to hang out with, a reserved Joe Pesci, and a job well done.  For those of you who have seen it, we could never figure out why DeNiro’s daughter didn’t like Joe Pesci’s creepy old man character, but loved to get ice cream with Al Pacino’s creepy old man character.

7) HER SMELL
Seemingly a movie that did not receive the critical attention it should have.  I never heard about it, but my friend Scott told me I absolutely needed to see it.  A tour de force performance from Elizabeth Moss playing a past-her-prime 90s punk singer told in various vignettes from different pivotal moments in her life.  Quite an emotionally affecting movie, and one that will mesmerize you from beginning to end.

6) I LOVE YOU, NOW DIE:  THE COMMONWEALTH VS. MICHELLE CARTER
This HBO documentary tells you the details of the Michelle Carter story, the teenage girl who sent convincing texts to her boyfriend to commit suicide.  Should these persuasive texts make her guilty of murder?  This was in the headlines a few years ago, and most people passed judgement quite quickly.  However, this movie tells you the unsettling details of the entire situation.  Better yet, the documentary is perfectly structured to constantly make you change your opinion on the story.   I found myself constantly switching my perspective on who I believed and why until the very end.  Just an excellent ride of a truly bizarre story.

5) LORENA
Released very early last year, this Amazon documentary focused on the disturbing details of the early 90′s tabloid story centered around Lorena Bobbitt, the woman who cut off her husband’s penis.  What was, at the time, just late night talk show easy joke material, was actually a story of significant domestic violence.  The movie chronicles the history of both Lorena and John Bobbitt and their lives over the past 25 years since the incident.  And even after the tabloids and news media left town, the two are presented as very complex and fascinating characters on their own.

4) A MARRIAGE STORY
Noah Baumbach knows how to make a captivating film.  The idea of telling a love story through the lens of divorce as he describes it, works perfectly.  Every scene is filled with an electric and relatable energy, and there are definitely some moments in the movie which showcase strong acting and perfect dramatic writing at their finest.  This movie deserves all its accolades, although I’m not sure what Laura Dern did that was so special to merit a best supporting actress nomination. 

3) PARASITE
For lack of a better description, this is an incredibly smart movie.  It’s far better to go into this movie without knowing anything about it.  You will enjoy the ride much more not knowing what to expect.  The writer/director is subtle, but intentional in his theme, and the movie definitely deserves the respect of long conversations about its message (of course nobody has post-movie analysis conversations anymore, the phone is just too compelling for me as well, but it’s still fun to dream).

2) LEAVING NEVERLAND
This documentary about the kids who were abused by Michael Jackson isn’t necessarily a larger cinematic achievement than any of the movies above, BUT it is the most gripping 4 hours of content I have watched in a very long time.  If you were ever a Michael Jackson fan, this movie is like a live grenade rolling into your bedroom.   Every detail is either disturbing or shocking or both.  For nearly 25 years, fringe stories about Michael Jackson’s abuse of children were the stuff of tabloids and bad comedian fodder.  But this documentary, nothing much more than candid, detailed interviews with two men he abused when they were just young fans, makes that story very real and truly horrifying.  More notably, it shows just how all of us can be so fooled by charisma and talent, as even when the documentary came out, MJ fans were fast to dismiss it, as he couldn’t have been the monster described by these men.  This movie will make you view the world and even your heroes with far more skepticism.

1) ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD
I have seen this movie 3 times, and each time I see it, I like it even better, and notice something brilliant I didn’t see before.   It’s something of an imperfect masterpiece.   It’s the most genuinely imaginative movie I have seen in a very long time, with Tarantino giving it an inspiring, magical energy that simply makes me want to put it on again just to hang out with the characters.   The idea for the Bruce Lee scene alone is just such a good time, and a clever idea, and alternate historical perspective on an icon that I never would have thought of.  The very conceit of this movie, one can tell, took a long while to develop into the final product we got to see.  It’s perfectly cast, and especially fun if you are familiar with the Charles Manson saga.  I wish Hollywood would make more unconventional and unique movies like this — movies that are clearly a vision and do not feel beholden to traditional film structures and tropes.   If they did make them,  I would give up YouTube and watch them all.

To read Aaron Bilgrad Movie Awards from past years, click HERE